Alright guys, I know you’ve been missing me. And to be honest, I’ve missed blogging. I want to get back into writing about some of my crazy childhood stories, I just have an absolutely TERRIBLE memory sometimes, so I have to really dig deep into my brain and remember the events that have happened. Bear with me, I promise that the resulting stories are worth it, or should at least make you feel better about yourself and who you were as a child compared to me.
I’ve decided this time to blog about crazy things I believed as a child. I’m sure you’ll be able to relate on some level to at least a couple of these. Some of them are understandable, but others are just straight up WEIRD. Shocker, I know. Regardless, here are some of the strange things that Miss Margaret Anne Englehart believed as a child.
- Every food that I ate or thing I put into my mouth had a different pile in my stomach
I thought that if I ate a carrot and a cucumber, they would go down my throat and when they got into my stomach that there was a separate pile for carrots and cucumbers and the carrot would go to that pile and that the cucumber would go to that pile. I thought this was the same for when I bit my nails. I thought there was just a pile of fingernails chillin in my stomach at all times. Yea didn’t figure that one out until I was like…8.
- There were men that sat in boxes by stop lights that constantly stayed awake to control the lights
I thought that there were men that were paid to sit in tiny offices by traffic lights that would turn the lights green, red and yellow when they thought it was appropriate to change them. I’m almost positive I thought this because I asked my older brother how the lights changed and he made this story up and I of course believed it.
- Hamstring stretches were called Hamburger stretches
Whenever we would do stretches in gym class that stretched the hamstring I thought they were called hamburger stretches. So, one day in gym class I was leading stretches and I said “Okay guys, let’s do the hamburger stretch now!!” and everyone looked at me like I was a crazy nut case and made fun of me. But it was okay, it was pretty normal for me to be made fun of in gym class #lankyawkwardgirlprobs
- I thought my cat had real feelings and could cry
I thought that if I was crying that she would cry too, or if my brother had called her fat that she knew and would cry. I actually could convince myself that I saw tears in her eyes and would get sad thinking that her feelings were hurt.
- Garage door opener garage from anywhere
Our family would be in Pennsylvania visiting with family or at church miles away and I thought that if I pressed the garage door opener that our garage door would open. So I freaked out a couple times when my mom would accidentally press it and yell at her to close it.
- Eating bread crusts would make my hair curly.
I can thank Grandma and Grandpa Englehart for telling me this one as a kid.
- Babies were born wearing diapers
I thought they just popped out wearing clothing. The first time I saw a baby naked I freaked out and got so confused.
- If you were swinging at the same height and rate as the person next to you, and they were of opposite sex, that you were going to get married to them.
I should end up having a lot of husbands if this is true. Whenever this would happen and if there were a lot of other kids around, everyone would scream “THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED EWWWWWW”
- My cat could tell when I was naked
I would literally pick up my cat and put her outside of my room while I was changing because I thought she could tell when I didn’t have clothes and I was trying to keep her eyes pure.
- My Barbies came alive when I was done playing with them
I would always tell my favorite Barbie that she was in charge when I left and would actually say “Okay guys, I know that you are all real and just pretend not to be when I’m looking, but I’m putting Kate in charge now because I have to go clean my room. Be good. I’ll be back later.”
Here are the remaining few that I believed:
- Teachers lived at their school
- All girls had innie belly buttons and boys all had outies
- Only celebrities lived in California
- If cut dolls hair it’d grow back
I hope at least one of you can relate to some of these. That would make me feel a whole lot better about myself and the things I believed as a kid.