Things I Believed as a Child

Alright guys, I know you’ve been missing me. And to be honest, I’ve missed blogging. I want to get back into writing about some of my crazy childhood stories, I just have an absolutely TERRIBLE memory sometimes, so I have to really dig deep into my brain and remember the events that have happened. Bear with me, I promise that the resulting stories are worth it, or should at least make you feel better about yourself and who you were as a child compared to me.

I’ve decided this time to blog about crazy things I believed as a child. I’m sure you’ll be able to relate on some level to at least a couple of these. Some of them are understandable, but others are just straight up WEIRD. Shocker, I know. Regardless, here are some of the strange things that Miss Margaret Anne Englehart believed as a child.

1. Every food that I ate or thing I put into my mouth had a different pile in my stomach

I thought that if I ate a carrot and a cucumber, they would go down my throat and when they got into my stomach that there was a separate pile for carrots and cucumbers and the carrot would go to that pile and that the cucumber would go to that pile. I thought this was the same for when I bit my nails. I thought there was just a pile of fingernails chillin in my stomach at all times. Yea didn’t figure that one out until I was like…8.

2. There were men that sat in boxes by stop lights that constantly stayed awake to control the lights

I thought that there were men that were paid to sit in tiny offices by traffic lights that would turn the lights green, red and yellow when they thought it was appropriate to change them. I’m almost positive I thought this because I asked my older brother how the lights changed and he made this story up and I of course believed it.

3. Hamstring stretches were called Hamburger stretches

Whenever we would do stretches in gym class that stretched the hamstring I thought they were called hamburger stretches. So, one day in gym class I was leading stretches and I said “Okay guys, let’s do the hamburger stretch now!!” and everyone looked at me like I was a crazy nut case and made fun of me. But it was okay, it was pretty normal for me to be made fun of in gym class #lankyawkwardgirlprobs

4. I thought my cat had real feelings and could cry

I thought that if I was crying that she would cry too, or if my brother had called her fat that she knew and would cry. I actually could convince myself that I saw tears in her eyes and would get sad thinking that her feelings were hurt.

 (Audrey was just meowing in this picture for the record)

5. Garage door opener garage from anywhere

Our family would be in Pennsylvania visiting with family or at church miles away and I thought that if I pressed the garage door opener that our garage door would open. So I freaked out a couple times when my mom would accidentally press it and yell at her to close it.

6. Eating bread crusts would make my hair curly.

I can thank Grandma and Grandpa Englehart for telling me this one as a kid.

7. Babies were born wearing diapers

I thought they just popped out wearing clothing. The first time I saw a baby naked I freaked out and got so confused.

8. If you were swinging at the same height and rate as the person next to you, and they were of opposite sex, that you were going to get married to them.

I should end up having a lot of husbands if this is true. Whenever this would happen and if there were a lot of other kids around, everyone would scream “THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED EWWWWWW”

9. My cat could tell when I was naked

I would literally pick up my cat and put her outside of my room while I was changing because I thought she could tell when I didn’t have clothes and I was trying to keep her eyes pure.

10. My Barbies came alive when I was done playing with them

I would always tell my favorite Barbie that she was in charge when I left and would actually say “Okay guys, I know that you are all real and just pretend not to be when I’m looking, but I’m putting Kate in charge now because I have to go clean my room. Be good. I’ll be back later.”

Here are the remaining few that I believed:

• Teachers lived at their school
• All girls had innie belly buttons and boys all had outies
• Only celebrities lived in California
• If cut dolls hair it’d grow back

I hope at least one of you can relate to some of these. That would make me feel a whole lot better about myself and the things I believed as a kid.

Stuart William Englehart

Baby Stu.

Stuart Little.

What a guy.

Stuart is 18, and is currently home schooled/ taking college courses at the Cleveland Institute of Music and will be entering as a full time sophomore college student at the Cleveland Institute of Music next year.

Man. Stuart is so great. I can’t even begin to describe how much Stuart means to me. He is such a man, and so far beyond most people his age. His maturity makes me feel so insignificant sometimes.

Stuart is like his big brother in the way that if something is wrong, he wants to ask me about it. There have been multiple times where I will be crying in my room or upset about something and I’ll hear a little knock on my door and then a head peeps in. “What’s wrong Mags?” and sometimes I say I don’t want to talk about it. And if that’s the case, he comes back 5 minutes later and asks what is wrong until I finally tell him. And he will sit there and listen to me talk and then offer advice. And he is so wise and such a complex thinker. I love talking with him. Sometimes I feel like I’m the little sister and he’s the older brother…Especially since he has passed me in height now.

I had the privilege of being able to spend 2 years of high school with Stuart. Andmy senior year we had 3 classes together. One of the classes was Spanish, and we had to be separated and put on opposite sides of the room because we would get too distracted sitting next to each other. It was such a blast! We were such a duo my senior year. I loved it.

Stuart gets my humor like no one else on this earth can. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that. Sometimes our text conversations are pure nonsense and I’m rolling on the floor laughing at how ridiculous and crazy anyone would think we were if they saw our conversations. He laughs at *most* of my terrible jokes and he has me laughing all the time. His humor is so witty and creative. And our humor goes together like PB & J!

I think the time that really showed just how much Stuart means to me was when he came and visited me this past semester. 75% of the time he was introduced to someone, they said “Oh yea! Stu I’ve heard so much about you!” Or a couple times even before introducing him someone would come over to me and say, “Hey, is that Stu?” Because I really do talk about him a lot. The kid means a ton to me. And he brings so much happiness to my life whenever we get to spend one-on-one time together when I’m at home.

<—-our attempt at taking a nice picture

One of my favorite things about Stuart is his willingness to open up. He’s completely honest and transparent with me, and I love that. He really trusts me, and I really trust him. And I’m so excited to keep seeing him grow and become an amazing man.

Stuart is just pure fun. And he’s always ready to have an adventure with me, and I love the fact that just because he’s younger than me, doesn’t mean I can’t learn from him. I look up to him just as much if not more than he looks up to me. God continues to show me things about Stuart that are so special and continue to make me admire and respect him more and more every single day.

I know Stu and I will get closer this summer, and I SUPER pumped for that. He really means so much to me, and I can’t wait for the awesome memories to be formed. I love him with all my heart!

 

Olivia Morgan Englehart

Beautiful, graceful and motherly are 3 words that really stick out in my mind when I think about Olivia.

Olivia is 23 and currently residing in Akron, Ohio with her fiancé Mr. Joseph Campbell 🙂 And their apartment is quite the cozy and homely place!

I know that in my blogs I’ve kind of made it seem like Olivia is very reserved and doesn’t ever do crazy things, but I’m here to tell you that that is not the case at all! While Olivia is definitely the quieter of us two girls, she and I have had belly-busting moments when Olivia is just CRAZY. She makes really funny voices and will just shock people sometimes at how weird and silly she actually can be! I love those moments with her.

 

I remember in high school after Olivia graduated I would cry all the time my sophomore year because I missed her so incredibly much. And I would get SO excited to go visit her at school and see my big sister.

Olivia and I were inseparable growing up. We shared a room until I was 13, and while I have definitely enjoyed having my own room at home for the past 7 years, I still love when she sleeps in the same room as me when she stays over at the house now. It reminds me of old times when we would stay up way after our parents had sent us to bed just talking. When we were living at our first house, we would talk so much that sometimes my parents would make me sleep in their bed until I fell asleep and they would then transfer me to my own bed when they were ready to go to sleep.

Olivia and I would also match all the time when we were younger and pretend that we were Mary Kate and Ashley. I still remember the day that I asked Olivia if we could match and she responded, “Maggie, I’m too old for that now. We’re not matching anymore”.

Olivia was my first best friend, and she still is. I have had so many people say to me “I’m so jealous of the sister relationship that you and Olivia have”. Because the sister friendship and love that Liv and I have is unique. I watch other sisters interact and it makes me value the relationship I have with Olivia that much more. She doesn’t treat me as if I’m younger than her, but as her equal. Liv and I will stay up for hours just talking whenever she stays up at the house, and it’s always in those moments that I thank God I have been gifted with such an amazing woman and sister. She is so gorgeous and caring.

One memory that really sticks out in my mind was the summer of 2012 that my dad took Olivia and I with him and my mom on his work outing. We were in this huge hotel/castle/house thing and one night there was a DJ coming and everyone could dance or mingle or walk around the gardens outside and make a romantic evening out of it. Well, Olivia and I put on our dance clothes and got out onto the dance floor. The dance floor consisted of 5 small children and us. As soon as Olivia and I stepped on the floor and started dancing we received glares and many judgmental looks from many parents. Keep in mind that my dad is a computer programmer and works with many reserved adults. They may not exactly be the dance party type. But anyways, Olivia and I danced the night away and shared so many laughs. I cried, she cried, and it was a bonding moment. I loved having her there with me on the trip.

<—This was us that night

If Olivia ends up being a mother one day there is no doubt in my mind that she would be an amazing mother. She just has that natural motherly care that not every girl is born with (speaking for myself). She really cares about everyone in her life and gets the job done. She has that gentle touch and uses it.

I love when people tell me that Olivia and I look alike, because she is beautiful. And because I like being associated with her and being recognized as her sister. Our bond is strong and held together simply by the strong love we have for each other. I love her with all my heart!

<—picture at her bridal shower. She’s getting hitched in 23 days! 

Alister Fraser Englehart

I only have to write three more blogs for my Communications class. And I’m actually kind of sad that it’s coming to an end. But I will definitely keep blogging after I’m finished writing 12 blogs! It just might not be as often as I’ve been writing them.

I want to close out this assignment by doing a separate blog on each of my siblings. Anyone that knows me well knows that each of my siblings mean the WORLD to me. And that there is never a day that I take them for granted. They are 3 of my best friends and I can talk about anything with each of them. I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would be without them. I talk about them all the time to my friends here at college, and anyone that has ever had a meal or conversation with me knows just how much they all mean to me.

So this one is about Alister.

Alister is 24, got his bachelor’s from Grove City College (woot woot!), his master’s from Slippery Rock University, and is now employed as the Resident Director at the Cleveland Institute of Music.

Alister is the definition of the perfect older brother. He is so patient and loving, and always willing to wake up to a 1am phone call asking him for help. He has guided me so much over the past year, and really made an impact on the person I am today. He pushes me to try to reach my next dream or goal, and won’t stop pushing until I get there. I am always SO proud to introduce him to my friends as my older brother and one of my best friends.

He’s such a family guy. If there’s a family event, you bet he’s trying his absolute hardest to be there. He is so good with the younger cousins, and as soon as Alister arrives, all the aunts and uncles and grandparents get excited about his arrival, simply because of the fact that he lights up every room he walks into, and carries so much love with him.

Alister is so joyful, and always aiming to put a smile on other’s faces. He is the goofball of our family, and I can’t remember any family gathering where he didn’t make me laugh out loud. Even when we look back on old family videos he is always the one making people laugh, and bringing happiness to everyone he comes in contact with.

My favorite thing about Alister is how he listens. He could be having the absolute worst day in the world and he would still take time out of his day to sit and listen to everything that you were having a hard time with. He’s clearly in the right occupation. He always has his listening ears on, and quick to give advice and solve the problem. He loves solving people’s problems. That’s another awesome quality about Al. Every time I come crying to him he makes a joke to try to lighten the mood. He hates to see me cry, and will often make a joke about Audrey to make me laugh. It always works!

Everyone that knows Alister LOVES him. I cannot even begin to count the amount of times when I have mentioned here on campus that Alister is my older brother and people have responded, “Oh Alister was SO great!” And then proceeded to imitate his infectious and unique laugh, or tell me something funny that he said. I love knowing that even though he graduated 3 years ago, that his joy is still present here on campus.

Alister is also really good about being intentional. While I’m not very good at it while I’m here at school, Alister always calls me to ask how I’ve been. And once again, he is 100% focused on what I am telling him.

I had the honor to sing with Al last Saturday in the Grove City College Touring Choir Alumni Concert. The choir was made up of the current Touring Choir members and 220 Touring Choir alumni. It was AWESOME. I was one of the best feelings being up there with my big brother and sharing a gift that we have in common. It was such a special moment for me, and I’m sure for him as well!

I’ve always really looked up to Alister, and I plan on doing so for the rest of my life. He is such a man of character and integrity and I know he’ll always be there to put a smile on my face and push me to my next goal. I love him with all my heart!

“Walk Around the Poles!”

For my final misdemeanor tale about 8^th grade, I’ll write about my cafeteria experiences.

Oh boy, here we go.

So as I metioned in one of my other blogs, I ended up being assigned to the “kids with bad behavior” table in the cafeteria and told that I had to eat at that table until the lunch aids thought I had earned back the privilege to sit with my friends.

Well, the first day I was assigned to this table I was not wanting any part of it. So I decided that I would eat in the bathroom.

*Mean Girls moment*

So I’m in a stall, eating my Cheetos, when a woman walks into the bathroom and says,

“Maggie get out of this bathroom RIGHT NOW”

I lifted up my feet so that she wouldn’t see me and I sat still. I didn’t say a word. Maybe if I didn’t say anything she wouldn’t think that I was in there.

“MAGGIE ENGLEHART I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE.”

Still no movement. Still no words exchanged.

“MAGGIE I AM GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS. 10-9-8..”

I slinked out of the bathroom stall, lunch in hand. I probably looked peeved. She grabbed my arm and I yanked it out of her grasp.

“I can walk to the table MYSELF.”

Yea….you can definitely say I had very little concept of respect for adults then.

So I sat at the “bad kids” table that day.

Well, I got bored with that table and wanted out. So I made more problems even at that table, so I got moved to the front office. I had to sit at a desk that faced the wall and eat by myself.

The first day that I had to eat in the office, my gutsy bone was itching again. I sat facing the wall and said to myself

“I seriously can’t STAND those lunch aids. Who do they think they are?” and then I said back to myself,

“I know, seriously. So rude.”

You got it folks. I was having a one-on-one conversation with MYSELF. At this point the secretary at the front office said,

“MAGGIE STOP TALKING.”

“But I’m just talking to myself Mrs. Vavro!”

To which she replied, “NO.”

Naturally, I didn’t listen. I kept on my conversation with myself.

“So how was your day?” “Good, until those lunch aids kicked me out” “Ugh they are SO annoying” “I know right? They have the dumbest rules!”

Mrs. Vavro said one more time, “MAGGIE!”

And surprisingly I was quiet for the rest of lunch.

Mrs. Vavro was not a fan of Miss Maggie Englehart believe it or not. It seems like there is a common theme here in 8^th grade with the faculty not liking me. I wonder why.

I did just see Mrs. Vavro 2 weeks ago at Target. And boy was THAT awkward. Top ten most uncomfortable experiences of my life.

So yep. That’s me in a nutshell on my 8th grade power trip years. So much shame.

One Little Moo

8^th grade misdemeanor ROUND TWO.

The story of how I was kicked out of my science class taught by the not so lovely Ms. Bobbie Thomson.

The bell rang. We all sat in our seats. We were chit chatting and probably being louder than normal and then Ms. Thomson stormed into the room.

Actually, hold the phone for a sec. I need to give some background.

Ms. Thomson was a woman in her mid 50’s that had a hoarser voice and liked to pick on students. She played favorites like it was part of her job. Oh wait—

Anyways, Ms. Thomson did not care for kids that misbehaved. Naturally, as any teacher wouldn’t. But Ms. Thomson wouldn’t just yell at the student once or twice. If there was a student that created problems for the rest of the class once or twice, she remembered it for the rest of the year. And she would make fun of those students if they ever did something wrong. One time she picked on a kid that everyone in our grade knew was more on the sensitive side and he cried. Either you loved this woman *cough brownnosers cough* or you weren’t a fan.

Now of course she didn’t like me. But you think I cared? Nope. I actually thrived in her hierarchy of a classroom. Her not liking me and picking on me gave me more opportunities to just poke fun at her. Which made her dislike me even more. It was a neverending cycle.

One time we had a packet about the Big Bang Theory and there was a question that said “What evidence is there that the Big Bang created the earth?” and I wrote “None. They are just trying to mess with middle schooler’s minds”. She of course crossed out my answer with a big red marker and gave me a D on the packet. Good riddance.

Anyway back to my story.

So here comes Ms. Thomson storming into the room. BOOM BOOM BOOM

“EVERY SINGLE DAY YOU KIDS ARE LOUD AT THE BELL. WHEN YOU HEAR THAT BELL YOU ARE TO BE SEATED AND STOP TALKING THE INSTANT IT GOES OFF. AM I CLEAR?! NOW I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ONE MORE PEEP FROM ANY OF YOU!”

You could’ve heard a pin drop.

Everyone scared.

More silence.

And then I said it.

“Moo.”

Don’t ask me why I said it. I still to this day have no clue what gutsy bone in my body made me say it.

“MAGGIE ENGLEHART. GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM RIGHT NOW.”

You could say it was a stupid thing to do. I still think it was a great decision. I got out of a boring science lesson and I just roamed the hallways and went to the library and Instant Messaged (yea, remember those times?) for 50 minutes. And it was great.

So if you want to get out of a class that you don’t want to be in, all you have to do is say “Moo.”

 Yep. 8th grade me as a cow. Take it or leave it.

Don’t Take Candy Onto Buses

For my next 3 blogs, I will be writing about my infamous 8^th grade year. Why is it some infamous you ask? Well, for starters I was reassigned to the “bad behavior kids” table at lunch about halfway through the school year. Then, when I got in trouble at that table, I had to eat lunch by myself in the front office for 2 weeks.

I got multiple detentions, one Saturday detention, kicked out of class twice, sent down to the principal’s office at least 13 times, and on top of that I got suspended from the school bus for 2 weeks and my parents made me walk halfway to school as part of my punishment. Yep. You can bet every faculty member knew my name by the time 8^th grade graduation rolled around. I’m surprised that they even let me attend 8^th grade graduation.

<—–me in 8th grade. Hey, at least it wasn’t the duck face.

In 8^th grade, I rode bus 59 to and from school. My bus drivers name was Kathy. And boyyyyy did Kathy not like me. In the LEAST. At the beginning of the year, I sat in the back of the bus with all the other 8^th graders. About 2 weeks into school they created assigned seats due to chaos being created on the bus with unassigned seats. They put me in the middle of the bus, and my partner in crime, Nataley, in the front right behind the bus driver. Within the span of a week I had secretly moved around to each seat on the bus and pulled down the notecards with the assigned name for that seat off the ceiling and threw each one out the window. The 7^th graders and 6^th graders were too intimidated by my bad behavior to ever say anything to our bus driver. After the name tags were gone we all just sat wherever we wanted. After that, the 8^th graders claimed the back of the bus again and we resumed to our duties. We would throw water balloons out the window and tie strings onto action figures and drag them out the window. But it doesn’t stop there.

please excuse my terrible drawing skills for this bus. I’ve never been one to be able to draw vehicles.

Then, there were the problems with the turnaround stop. Each day on the way home, our bus had to drop some kids off that lived on a no outlet street. As a result of this, the bus had to reverse to get back onto the main road. We were all instructed to be completely silent until the turn around was done so the driver could concentrate as much as possible. One day, we were at the turn around, and we kept making so much noise each time that Kathy tried to turn the bus around, that she actually got up out of her seat and started walking down the aisles to yell at everyone and then…the bus started rolling down the street. She must have forgotten to put the bus in park or something. So there we are, rolling down the street.

Kathy said, “I’m not moving this bus until you guys stop talking!” when one student perked up and yelled, “Well then why are we moving?!” I had never seen Kathy move quicker than in that moment. She panicked and sprinted to the front of the bus, put it in park and we shut up for the turnaround.

Another time we were at the turnaround and it was about mid-March. We had just dropped off the students that lived at the dead end street and Kathy was getting ready to back up. Well, once again no one would be quiet. People would stomp their feet or play music every time Kathy started to back up. Each time we got quiet and Kathy would start to back up, someone would make a noise and Kathy would pull right back up to her starting point again. This went on for 45 minutes. Parents were complaining and calling the school and then… they got the big guns to roll in.

Coming down the street was a police car. The head of the bus department came onto our bus and screamed at us. And a police officer sat on the back of the bus the entire way home. After that incident happened, someone from the bus department had to sit in the back of the bus and monitor us for the remainder of the school year. A few kids got suspended off the bus for a few days after that, but thankfully I wasn’t in that pack. I did however, get suspended off the bus a few months previous for a different reason.

It was on the way to school, and I don’t know where the candy came from, but when I got a hold of a few pieces, my first instinct was to throw it. Me and a handful of other students started throwing the candy, and other kids were laughing and it was whatever until one piece hit the front window, bounced back and hit our bus driver smack dab in the middle of her head. A shy girl named Helen had hit the last place on the bus we wanted the candy to go.

That day, each student on the bus got called down individually to the principal’s office and had to say who threw the candy. Well, surprise surprise I got the most blame. Most of the students were under the impression that I was the one that hit the bus driver. Poor little 6^th grade Stuart got a lot of the blame too. Yep, I’m that bad of an influence that I brought my 12 year old brother into my mischief. We both got suspended off the bus for 2 weeks and had to walk halfway to school each day. It ended up not being so bad, but you can bet I never threw candy on the bus again.

Now here’s not to say I never did anything bad on the bus again, I just never threw anything again. But I couldn’t let the fun be ruined with one suspension now could I? Of course not!

Stay tuned for more of my grand 8^th grade misdemeanors.

Staples Ruin Everything

Ever stepped on a paper full of staples pointing sharp side up? Nope, can’t say I have.

Ever ran into a trailer and had a cut so deep that the doctors could see your skull? Thank heavens, no, again.

Ever had staples in your head? Again, no thank you!

Well, Stuart answers yes to each of these questions. Us three older siblings were ruthless to poor Stuart growing up. For about a month we had ‘Saturday Morning Club’ where the 3 older siblings would gather in Alister’s room and read comics. Stuart was always locked out of the room and not invited. I know, terrible! Poor lil’ guy.

Then, when Alister was about 13 and Stuart was 7, Stuart was always going into Alister’s room uninvited and messing with his stuff. Of course Stuart didn’t understand that teenagers need their space. And Alister took matters into his own hands.

He put a piece of paper with the sharp side of the staples facing up on the floor of his bedroom right in front of the door so that when Stuart walked into his room he would step on the paper full of staples.

Well, unfortunately Stuart fell for the booby trap. And he screamed. Ohhhhh yes he screamed. Needless to say Stuart didn’t step foot into Alister’s room for quite a long time after that.

But before Stuart got staple ambushed, there was another staple incident in Alisters room. But instead of the staples going into Stuart’s feet, they went into his head. Yea. His noggin-holding head.

Alister, Stu and I were jumping on Alister’s bed one night. I have no idea where Olivia was. Probably being a good child and playing with Barbie’s or dolls or something like that. So there we are, jumping on the bed. Well, the game got a little boring after a while so we decided to incorporate a bean bag chair into the game.

We put Stuart underneath the beanbag on top of the bed, and started jumping on the bean bag. Keep in mind that the floors were hardwood.

Well there we are jump jump jumping and then BOOM. Next thing ya know, Stuart is sprawled across the floor wailing. As he usually did. Hence the not being allowed into ‘Saturday Morning Club’ with the cool older siblings.

Stuart cracked his head open that day, and had to get staples in his head. That is why Stuart reads at a 4^th grade level, today.

Kidding.

The guy is actually a genius.

As a result though, my parents had a carpenter come in and cover Alister’s floor with carpet so that it wouldn’t be hardwood anymore. Solid life decision Mom and Dad. Almost as solid as the floor that cracked poor Stuart’s head.

Sad Love Story

We can all remember our first crush. Whether it was in preschool, kindergarten or 4^th grade we all remember that special someone that really caught our attention.

My first crush was in preschool. His name was Drew and we were best friends. We rode to school together every day and had playdates. My mom probably thought I had found my soul mate at age 4. Drew must have thought so too because he asked me to marry him. And I of course said yes! Guess that makes me engaged now, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately Drew moved away in kindergarten and our wedding plans had to be called off. I started my search for my husband again.

I found my next heartthrob in my 1^st grade class. His name was Shane and I had maybe only ever said 5 words to him. And the 5 words I said were probably “Can I borrow a pencil?”

Shane was very quiet, and I was very loud (I know, hard to believe, right?), and he was very laid back and low key. He was a handsome lil fella, I’ll give him that, but he was not the type of person that would mesh well with someone of my personality type.

One day, a girl in my class, Caitlin, came up to me and asked me who I had a crush on. I told her that I had my eyes set on Shane. I told her to keep it a secret and not to tell anyone. She swore she wouldn’t.

Well, this was the day I learned that girls can’t always be trusted.

My secret lasted a whole 3 minutes before Caitlin walked over to Shane and asked him if he had a crush on me. To which he replied,

“Of course! Maggie is so cute with her obnoxiousness and loud mouth! I think she might be my soul mate!”

Hah. Yea right. His actual response was,

“No, I hate her.”

Ouch. Harsh there buddy. He didn’t even know me, so I have no idea where this hatred for me was coming from. I heard him say it and ran for the bathroom and hid in there for a good 30 minutes. I was mortified. I just sat there in my bathroom stall embarrassed and wishing that I was invisible. I wished that I would never have to see Shane again and that I could yell at Caitlin for sharing my secret so prematurely. I wanted to go home and be homeschooled. I probably cried but I honestly can’t remember. But I do remember that my little 7 year-old heart was crushed beyond anything I had felt before. I told myself that I would never like boys again and that I would never share secrets with anyone ever again. Especially Caitlin.

Well I didn’t obviously follow through with either of those for very long.

I trudged my way back to my classroom and slinked back to my desk, trying not to be seen by Shane. Luckily, he didn’t see me, but I still felt my face turn bright red when I sat back down in my seat.

You can bet that I never said two words to Shane ever again. Not even in middle school or high school. Because the only impression I ever had of him was that he hated me in 1^st grade, and that was enough to keep me away from him forever.

So if you’re thinking about telling someone named Caitlin one of your secrets, better think twice before doing so.

Hide and Seek: Pillow Version

As you can probably imagine, I got called down to the Principal’s office many times during my years in grade school. And every time except for twice, I 100% deserved to be called down and disciplined.

One of the times that I did not deserve it still hits home to my heart pretty hard. Okay….maybe a little over dramatic, but honestly, I was upset about this particular instance for years in the aftermath.

I was in 3^rd grade. It was in the fall and I remember that specific detail because when I was younger, my asthma was AWFUL. I was always having asthma attacks and having to go to the hospital and my attacks always happened in the fall. So I remember it was fall because my asthma was particularly bad this day, so I didn’t go out to recess after lunch with the rest of my peers.

I went to lunch, probably threw some food to be the center of attention in front of my friends, made everyone laugh, and probably got yelled at. Then when everyone was about to go out to recess I went back to our classroom so I could just hang out and maybe talk with my teacher a little bit.

When I got back to my classroom the lights were turned off, and normally everyone came back to the room before recess started, so when I saw that I was the first one back the wheels in my mind started to turn. What possible pranks could I pull in the room when my friends came into the classroom?

I scanned the room. Hide under a desk? Nah, too unoriginal. Hide behind the teacher’s desk? Eh, too risky. I kept scanning. And my eyes finally landed on the mountain of pillows piled in the corner that we used when we had reading time. I climbed into the pillows, arranged them so I couldn’t be seen, and awaited my oh-so-clever ambush.

I waited for what felt like a lifetime. I was getting antsy. I started to have to go to the bathroom.

Finally, I heard voices. I got into my prime jumping position. Someone walked into the classroom and I sprung out of the pillows and screamed at the top of my lungs “SURPRIIIIIISSSEEEE!!!!!!”

Well……. it wasn’t one of my friends.

In fact, it wasn’t a student at all.

It was my Vice Principal. And she was LIVID. She marched right over to me, grabbed my arm and drug me out of the classroom. The entire way to the Principal’s office she was yelling at me and asking why I hadn’t gone outside for recess with everyone else and why I was hiding in the pillows.

I explained to her that I had really bad asthma and that my doctor wouldn’t let me play outside because being in the cold air inflamed my lungs but she would not believe me if her life depended on it. She just kept yelling at me and saying that my sister had been such a well-behaved student and asking why I couldn’t behave the same way.

Yea. Try to imagine how many times I heard THAT one growing up. Thanks for being the perfect child, Olivia.

Anyway, she flopped me down on the chair outside the Principal’s office and I was sobbing. I was a huge cry baby, and still am, so this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

I sulked in my chair and waited to be shamefully called into the Principal’s office.

I waited. And waited.

And waited.

I was getting antsy again. And that made me think about the pillows, which just made me cry harder. I was innocent, and no one would believe me.

I finally got called into the Principal’s office, and I explained the situation through sobs and he completely believed me. I had a new hope that there actually were adults that weren’t out to get every human under 4 feet tall. He even gave me a green pencil with stars on it. What a kind man.

Moral of the story: Try to avoid getting the gene that makes you have asthma.